Rocket Shoes

So I’d write a long-winded ode to my NYE, but to tell you the truth? I have no idea what happened for the most part. Here’s what I do know for sure: Ryan punched our cab driver and got kicked out of the bar, I drank too much, and I drank too much. HAPPY NEW [...]

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December 31st is right up there with Halloween, isn’t it? It’s that wonderful time of year where hope rings joyous and people aim to drink until they can’t feel feelings anymore. The only difference is that people wear metaphorical costumes on this lovely night, whereas on Halloween people just try to embarrass themselves on purpose. [...]

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So i’ve got a general stance in life: everything that goes wrong is someone else’s fault, and there is SOME way that I can complain/be melodramatic about it. It works, seriously. I believe this dates back to when I didn’t get to be in little league as a kid. Did I ask my mother if [...]

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So let me just start by saying that voting today while listening to the song “Mrs. Officer” by Lil’ Wayne made me love my country. I mean…really? I can do that? I don’t know why I found this so fascinatingly odd and cool. But the old lady next to me, who may or may not [...]

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I feel like Lil’ Wayne is a hundred dollar bill I found in my jacket that I left hanging in the closet a year ago. Except I left him hanging in there after “Bling Bling” came out like 14 years ago or something and had an awkward jewfro. And now the coat is the outdated [...]

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So it’s been a while since I’ve written. I know…you missed me. I missed you too, sweetheart! It’s like I went out on all these cute dates with people who read the blog, and then just stopped calling one day out of the blue. I mean really cute dates. I got the door for you, [...]

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So I woke up on a street corner at 4am in Menlo Park this weekend. True story.

I’m still trying to figure out what was going on in drunk drew’s head. There are MILLIONS of questions here, probably starting with “why did you fall asleep on a street corner at 4am this weekend in Menlo Park.” [...]

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So I got to thinking last night, and I think Apple is onto something but they need to take it to the next level. I mean, they basically are Motherbrain from Metroid these days (NERD01101NERD01001NERD), so I think it’s possible for them to do this and I want it to happen.

So this genius thing? Awesome. [...]

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Dear Everyone,

If you read the blog regularly….and I think this is like 6 of you (hey, better than “not 6″, right?)…I apologize for my disappearing act. Let’s face it, I was just Cameron Frye of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Mikey from Swingers…I don’t know, fill in your “whatever guy in whatever movie who is kinda [...]

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The movie “Disaster Movie” makes me want to kick people in the shins. Not because of seen it, but because it exists. They aren’t even TRYING to make sense anymore, they are just putting a bunch of unfunny things together for the creation of an entire film. It’s like producers went to a frat house [...]

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